Youth Today: The Importance of Family

By Karen Pittman, March 2000

My mom died in early February. The death of a parent is cause for much reflection. In my case, this reflection has reaffirmed the importance of family — an institution that we in youth work are often accused of slighting, if not intentionally sidestepping.

All of us have our mothers to thank for life. But far beyond that, I have my mother to thank for the way my life has taken shape. My decisions about family, learning, work and service all link back to her. Looking back on her influence puts into perspective the possibilities — and the limits — of youth work.

Under my mother’s quiet but firm hand, I was taught to be bright but not arrogant. I was taught that talent was nothing when not accompanied by hard work. If my mother was concerned when that gift took me to schools all over the city, and eventually the country, she never showed it. If my interest in music cost her dollars she could not afford (and I know now that it did), I never knew it.

My mother taught me to be black, but not bigoted. The universe into which I was born was almost entirely African American. But the worlds I ventured into through scholarship and music were diverse. I went out with confidence and eagerness. I came back with friends, and eventually a husband, who were not of our race.

My mother taught me to stand up for injustice, but not to expect it. I never doubted that I would be treated anything but fairly if I was proper and prepared. And if things didn’t go as I expected, I examined my actions first before blaming others. My mother was not a coward. I learned from her how to take a stand when injustice was done. And I learned that people who take a stand only when the injustice is done to them are suspect.

I still remember standing by the large gum machine on the landing at Neisners 5 & 10 downtown, waiting for my mother to return with the manager. I had lost my nickel in the machine. But it was not our nickel she was concerned about. Mom went off to ensure that a sign was put up so that no other children would lose their coins.

My mother taught me many other things over the years. Most recently, my mother taught me about dying. It will take some time to process those lessons. But for now I am comforted, almost overwhelmed, by the memories of the many ways my mother, Marguerite Rosa Ursula Daniel Johnson, created the odds for me — a young, black girl, growing up in inner-city D.C., in a low-income family, headed by a widowed mother with a GED — by setting high expectations, providing steady examples and opening pathways.

Youth-serving organizations regularly help young people beat the odds — helping them build skills, confidence and connections. Increasingly, adults in youth and community organizations are working with young people to help them change the odds by addressing the larger educational, social, political, economic and environmental issues in their communities. But in the end it is families that create the odds, not just for their toddlers and elementary school children, but for their adolescents and young adults as well. Intentionally or not, families shape perspectives, instill values, and support or stifle goals.

We in youth work must respect the power of families, no matter how weak the parental bond, and strengthen their positive influence. And we must remember also to prepare our young people for one of the most influential roles they may ever assume — as head of a family.

Over the years I have dedicated myself to changing the odds for youth in this country and around the world. But everything I have accomplished, I have been able to do because of the odds my mother created for me. I only hope she realizes what a difference she has made.
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Pittman, K. (2000, March). "The Importance of Family." Washington, DC: The Forum for Youth Investment. A version of this article appears in Youth Today.

Karen Pittman is executive director of the Forum for Youth Investment.